Okay this is taking forever. Let's wrap this up. We had a wonderful time in this little village in the Austrian Alps. The reason we went there is that it is the hometown of Matt's Austrian boss, Marcus, and he recommended it and gave us lots of ideas of available activities in the area, especially skiing in the winter and hiking in the summer. He told us that when he was a child, the cable car was only 5 minutes from his house. For a while last year, Matt and I and a bunch of friends from my master's programme were trying to plan a skiing trip somewhere cheap and tried to organise the trip for St Johann. Unfortunately no one was able to afford it in the end and it didn't work out. Since that fell through, we figured we would go to St Johann on this trip and hike instead of skiing.
St Johann in Tirol
Source: WikipediaThe day after we arrived we were planning to do a big walk, it was a Sunday and all the grocery stores were closed, so we couldn't buy a cheap grocery store breakfast. Instead we spent a pleasant morning in a little cafe (where we encountered a drunken psychotic German guy who we labeled 'alternate path Joel'--this is the guy Joel could have become if he'd taken a different path). German tea was a perfectly adequate substitute for English tea. German pastries however have a very different flavour from American and English pastries, I think because they use a lot of almond paste or ground almonds. They're less sweet and have a slightly grainy cream. My standby became the apple strudel with tart soft apples and a thin crispy pastry wrapper.
Apple Strudel
Source: WikipediaSo after breakfast, we wandered over to the Tourist Information Office, which was open at 10AM to see what hike they could recommend to us. None of us had brought hiking boots, we only had tennis shoes. The lady at the Tourist Information Office seemed to think we wouldn't make it 10 feet without hiking boots. At first she said the only walk we could probably do was a paved walking path along the river, ie flat and boring. We were in the mountains and were determined to walk up in the mountains. She suggested a different walk for us, which she said we could maybe do without hiking boots and that's the one we did.
In the cable car
Source: MattIt was really, really cool: we took the cable car 1000 feet right up a mountain called Kitzbuhler Horn and proceeded to walk down back into the village. The cable car did not go right to the top, there was a summit higher up which we briefly contemplated going up, but it was actually very rough terrain and we thought we legitimately couldn't do it without hiking boots. Our path down was--a paved road! And on the way up, we saw families with small children and dogs walking down on the same path. You definitely didn't need hiking boots for that.
At the top of the cable car ride. Pretty high up, surrounded by mountains.
Source: MattWalking down the mountain was great. We were surrounded by mountains on all sides, the mountain sheep and cows in the fields, and the river snaking in between villages in the valley below. Very, very beautiful. And one of the best views, when we came around to the north side of the Kitzbuhler Horn, was a full view of this range of mountains called the Wilder Kaiser--Crazy King, after King Ludwig II. They were rugged, snow-topped, forbidding, dangerous. And so beautiful.
Wilder Kaiser Mountains
Source: WikipediaAround lunchtime, we had been walking only about half an hour but we were coming up to a little restaurant/pub. It was simply irresistible. Having a pint of wheat beer on the shoulder of a mountain, surrounded by peaks and breathing in the sharp alpine air was pretty brilliant.
Matt and Keith enjoy a Konig Ludwig beer.
Source: Matt
Oh yeah this is for real!
Source: Matt
Source: Matt
And for some unknowable reason, the alcohol went straight to my head. I was pretty goofy for the next 40 minutes, as Matt will attest.
Ahem
Source: MattThe walk took about 3 hours, sharply downhill the entire way. By the end our quads, knees, calves and feet were burning up. Keith, who is very fit because he's training for a triathalon, was less sore than us.

When we got down, we got in touch with Marcus' mom. Marcus said his mom would like to meet us and have us over for tea. After a quick shower we went over to Marcus' mom's house, which was only around the corner and talked with her and Marcus' dad for about an hour. They were really nice and talked a lot about how Marcus doesn't come home anymore. Instead they are moving to England in a year or so. That's the nice thing about the EU, you can move wherever.
Afterward we headed to find some drinks and dinner. Marcus had told us, he said, 'No trip to St Johann in Tirol is complete without a trip to the beer tower.' Beer--yes. Top of a tower--yes. It checked all our boxes so we went. And we decided to stay for dinner. It was our first real Austrian meal and I had a pork chop with a stuffing ball and saurkraut. Keith had Hungarian Borscht, which is a thick stew of tomato sauce with big chunks of beef and potato. Matt had some kind of vegetarian crap, I can't remember what. After we ate inside the beer tower, we moved to a table on the outside terrace and watched the sun go down behind the mountains.
On top of the beer tower
Source: Matt
Sunset
Source: MattThat week there was going to be a big international biking championships in St Johann and the town had put on this festival to coincide with it. As part of this festival they had a stage with traditional Austrian folk music along with a troupe of people doing traditional dances, wearing traditional costumes and doing little skits. It was pretty funny stuff and they had audience participants come up and dance with them.
Dancing!
Source: Matt(On a side note, Austria is highly insular, they hate immigrants and I got stared at everywhere we went in St Johann. I never saw another non-Caucasian person there. They don't seem to like foreigners in general though. Most of the people who were there for the biking championships were Italian and one time one of them nearly ran into an Austrian on his bike, and the Austrian woman shouted something at him, including something about 'Italians!'.)
Anyhoo, that evening we were quite exhausted and went to bed.
The next morning, we had some time before check-out and decided to buy some souvenirs, write and post some postcards, and do some grocery shopping before we got back in the car for the drive to Salzburg. We had tea at the same cafe and got a baguette and some lunchmeat (PB & J for Matt), fruit, granola bars, etc, from the grocery store which was now open. While we were waiting for Keith to buy some postcards, we ran into Karl, the guy running the hostel. The night before, the Aussies had lost the Ashes cricket series to England for the first time in several years, much to the disappointment of the many Aussies staying at our hostel. In passing, I gave my sympathy to Karl about his team's loss, upon which he became rather piqued, telling me tersely, 'I'm a kiwi.' Yikes.
So we hit the road again, heading for Salzburg. The road was for a while as exciting as when we drove into the lps. Eventually though we left the mountains behind and everything was suddenly flat as a pancake again. The place we were staying was called Haus Christine, a bed and breakfast on the edge of Salzburg. When we got there we were amazed. It was a really lovely family house. We seemed to be the only guests, and it was located on a hill overlooking Salzburg. We sat at a table on the terrace and put together our sandwiches for lunch. Then we dropped off our things in our room, a comfortable and clean 4-bed dorm room, and headed off to take the bus into Salzburg.
Outside Haus Christine
Source: Matt
Oh yes, the hills were alive.
Source: The InternetsSalzburg is probably most famous in the US for being where Maria lived in The Sound of Music. I love The Sound of Music and we spent most of the day humming the songs under our breath. We walked leisurely through the old town, the famous market and then went up (of course) a huge cliff to get a view over the city. While we were up there I narrated the entire story of The Sound of Music for Keith because he'd never seen it. On the other side of the cliff was exactly what we had been aiming for, a beer garden. This was called Augustiner brauhaus, after the Augustinian monks who had started it at their monastery centuries ago.
Top of the heap
Source: Matt
Augustiner Brauhaus beer garden
Source: MattSalzburg is also famous for being where Mozart lived during his most productive years. There is a candy that is widely sold there called Mozartkugel, which translates to Mozart balls. Of course Matt had to get some for his office.
Mozart Balls: Not a joke
Source: Information SuperhighwaySalzburg was kind of an example of how you can roll into a town, not know anything about it, try to see tons of things and fail, and not really care that much because you're enjoying it anyway. We tried to see a marionette show (who wouldn't want to see a puppet show after that horrific museum exhibit from Munich?) but it was too expensive. We tried to go to the egg museum, but it was closed. The Christmas museum was also closed. We tried to find an internet shop to get driving instructions back to Munich and wandered for about an hour before we found one. I tried to get something to eat but grocery stores didn't seem to exist. I finally got some snitzel (pounded flat, breaded pork) from a cart. Then we got on the bus and were immediately told we couldn't eat on the bus. Embarrassing that. We were bumbling tourists. In the evening though we went back to Haus Christine and read books on the terrace, watching the sun go down behind mountains again, until it was too dark to read.
The next morning we had our breakfast (which included meat) and then packed up, heading out back to Munich. The driving was not as exciting, but we drove through the Black Forest which must indeed have been something spooky and mysterious back in the days before the Autobahn.
Back in Munich we dropped off the trusty Picasso and shared one last lunch together at a train station. Keith's flight was much earlier than ours, so he left after lunch but Matt and I had the better part of the day left in Munich. We took the tram to another fancy castle/house called Schloss Nymphenburg which is still in Munich. The house itself was not as impressive as some of the other places we had seen. The grounds were very large but it was very hot out. We tried to buy a Coke at the garden cafe but it was EURO4 for a 500ml bottle and we refused out of principle to pay that much. The real surprise winner at Schloss Nymphenburg and a real pleasure was the carriage museum. Sounds lame right? Well, it was amazing. I have never seen such regal carriages and can imagine how imposing it would have been to lowly peasants working the fields to see their masters and overlords ride by in these extraordinarily decorated and fantastical moving houses.
Schloss Nymphenburg
Source: Matt
Who wouldn't want this ride?
Source: Matt
Sweetest sleigh ever? Probably.
Source: MattThen Matt and I headed to the airport to catch our flight. We arrived a bit early, at about 5 for a 9 o'clock flight. Guess what airline once again wasn't manning their desks? For some reason, even though I had eaten more meat in the previous week than I probably had for the previous six months, I craved a cheeseburger. Happily Burger King obliged and provided me with a cheeseburger plus bacon plus BBQ sauce. Matt and I went back to the check-in desks and through security. I forgot to mention before that we had to pay to check our one bag-- GBP15 on the way over and again EURO18 on the way back! Honestly, what happened to the discount in discount airline?
Before our flight we had some time to kill. So we had a beer. In the end we realised we didn't go a single day in Germany or Austria without a drink or two but we never got drunk (except that one day and it was only me and I blame it on the altitude).
Back to London Gatwick, train to Victoria Rail Station, Tube to Archway, bus to our flat. Phew.
It was then that Matt realised he left his toiletries bag in Haus Christine containing his six month supply of contact lenses, razor blade, spare blades and most disconcertingly our toothbrushes.
We bought toothbrushes the next morning and never recovered the rest.
So ended our trip.
Review:
Meat Eaten: Equivalent to one cow, 2 pigs and 3 sheep.
Beer Consumed: At least 1 pint a day.
Miles Walked: Probably a million.
PB&Js Eaten: Equivalent to the living weight of George Washington Carver.
Castles/Fancy Houses: 4
Crazy Kings: 1
Weight Gained: 6kg (between the two of us)